sobriquet

Superman on the stand

2006-09-19T17:47:00.000-04:00

What if it fell to you, the defense attorney of Lex Luthor, to cross-examine Superman as witness in your client’s criminal case? Aside from proving Kal-El’s blatant violations of Luthor’s Miranda and Due Process rights, you must establish that the Caped One’s testimony is inadmissible in a court of law. One great strategy would be to present to the jury a logical proof that completely discredits the Man of Steel. The title of your presentation would be, “Superman: Liar or Schizophrenic.”

From the moment Superman flew into Metropolis he passed himself off as one who represents “Truth, Justice, and the American way.” The inconsistency here rests on the “Truth.” According to Superman in his first motion picture, he “never lies” under any circumstances. He maintains it as an absolute, uncompromised fact that he does not intentionally conceal what he perceives to be reality. Yet verifiable facts do not support Superman’s position.

Recall in Superman II, when Lois Lane was firmly convinced that Clark was in fact Superman. She asked him, point blank, “Are you Superman?” To this Clark responded, “No, no, of course I’m not Superman. Don’t be ridiculous, Lois.” To test her belief, Lois flung herself into Niagara Falls, expecting Clark to don his cape and rescue her. Lois survived this brash act, but just barely.

The point of this incident is clear—Clark Kent is quite willing and able to lie even when it puts his supposed loved ones in danger. Every moment he dons his non-prescription glasses is a lie. The woman he loves, Lois, is constantly being misled as to his identity. Who knows how far this ruse goes, to what lengths Clark/Superman is willing to go to fulfill his own needs at our detriment. Unless Superman regards himself as a completely separate entity from Clark Kent, and is in fact psychologically independent from Kent, Superman must be considered a liar, pure and simple.

Which brings us to the next point. If Superman is in fact telling the truth, that in a real sense he believes he is not Clark Kent, he must be battling a multiple personality disorder. In layman’s terms, he is bonkers. Consider how dangerous a proposition this is. Someone who is strong enough to crush Earth into bits, who, indeed, is fast enough to reverse the spin of the planet and send us back in time, is crazy. What’s worse, he routinely zips this way and that, acting as judge and jury for criminals everywhere. Superman reads no rights, does no surveillance, and seems to have little regard for law. How is Lex Luthor any worse from this madman?

In passing, it should be noted that concealing his identity from the public is not the only sneaky thing Superman (an extraterrestrial) has done. It is common knowledge that Superman adversely possessed a 25 square mile stretch of land just south of the North Pole, depriving Denmark of an estimated 3 billion dollars of potential revenue. All of that just to erect a pretentious piece of modernist architecture (The Fortress of Solitude). Someone this petty and crazy should not be granted authority to go above the law. Your freedom or your home could be next.

I would also like to add...

2006-08-13T16:08:00.000-04:00

...that the rumor of this blog's demise has been greatly exaggerated.

Thanks, mom.

2006-08-13T15:43:00.000-04:00

I just spent approximately two hours perusing the pitchfork-youtube compilation of the 100 most awesome videos ever made. I soon realized that I owe the bittersweet nostalgia I feel for the decade of the 1980s to my mother. Had she not gotten herself knocked up in 1980 as opposed to, say, 1985, I doubt I would feel half as emotionally connected to most of these videos. Instead, I not only feel inspirationally compelled to sing the Go-Gos at my next karaoke bar appearance, but I feel a proud sense of humility that I am able to remember my youth coinciding with such media breakthroughs that were conveyed through the music and music-video scene of the 1980s.

The preponderance of "80s Nights" at bars and clubs, radio stations with the same specialty, and, one might go so far to say, the heavy-laden 80s punk influence on the modern hipster aesthetic are testament to the fact that the 80s was an incredible decade. It may also construe itself as irritating based on the sheer magnitude, prevalence, and repetitive interest accross what now appears to be multiple generations and possibly demographics. The "80s" is certainly a marketable decade in myriad ways. However, I must argue that more recent music videos lack the quaint charm of what is now low-budget and/or amature special effects.

Although this list includes more recent gems, my favs include the Jacksons, Journey, Herbie Hancock, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, A-Ha, Lionel Richie, the list goes on and I've only made if half way through. I'm guessing that long term memory afixes itself for mass media culture at about age 4 or 5, luckily. I feel truly blessed.

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/36588/Staff_List_100_Awesome_Music_Videos/page_1

sobriquet

2006-07-19T06:13:00.000-04:00

A few things. First, what's with all the academic posts? Secondly, I have lost sleep thinking about how I've not delivered my promise of a Part II to my Reality Bites post back in May. This sequel is still not prepared, but I thought I would leave you all with a few interesting facts about its star, Winona Ryder.

Winona was born Winona Horowitz. She was also born as a blonde (isn't that crazy?). Until her teen years she grew up on a commune without electricity. Her first movie was Lucas. She was supposed to play Michael Corleone's daughter in Godfather III, but was suffering from exhaustion and had to back out. Currently, she has three movies in production. Stay tuned...

Gilad Shalit is the new Terri Schiavo

2006-06-29T11:52:00.000-04:00

Remember Terri? The woman in a persistent vegetative state who inspired a special, late-night Sunday session of Congress from which emerged a faux-heroic intervention applying only to Schiavo's parents, allowing their attempt to "save" her to leapfrog from state to federal court in defiance of Constitution and all common sense? Remember the vigils outside the Hospice where she lay dying, the feverish martyrdom operation, the Christian soliders expressing their outrage that Governor Bush of Florida hadn't called in the National Guard to forcefully remove Ms. Schiavo and spirit her to safety?

Something about what's going on in Israel/Palestine reminds me uncannily of the Schiavo drama. Every human life is sacred, but why is the recovery of Gilad Shalit worth escalating the region into open warfare? As cynical as it sounds, isn't it actually something of a step forward for the Palestinians to start kidnapping soldiers instead of blowing up civilians? The righteousness of the Israelis, dutifully supported by the Bush Administration, is illegitimate as long as they hold 9,000 Palestinians in prison-- surely "enemy combatants", including the women and children, to a one.

The fetishization of Gilad Shalit suggests to me that Israel made a decision at some point after Hamas' ascension to power and has simply been waiting for an excuse to start a war. We'll all be lucky if it remains a merely regional conflict.

Sigh

2006-05-31T05:55:00.000-04:00

The division of public and private in modern society, from the outset so fastidiously maintained as to impoverish both domains, is entering a new phase. Technology presents the possibility of complete, immanent immersion in a personal sensory universe. The private sphere is no longer coterminous with the boundaries of one’s residence; it is now an enveloping aura borne about by the individual, much like the “bubble of liberty” to which Lockean political philosophy degraded the notion of freedom.

The retreat to privacy was already a reaction to the withering of public space: the private realm used to represent a recuperative sanctum in which individuals could bask in an aesthetic ambience of their own creation; the public sphere, exemplified by the city, was an ugly and unpleasant environment to be experienced, if at all, in controlled bouts.

In the next phase, the traditional distinctions between public and private are called into question. Public space, once tolerated as a necessary evil, is no longer afforded even that grudging concession.

New technologies such as the MP3 player and the cell phone make the individual off-limits to social interactions in the realm actually occupied by his body: it is, in a real sense, merely his body that is there. To be sure, the chance of social interactions—especially of meaningful ones—is already virtually nil in a public space dominated by rapid, senseless activity and the pseudosociality of consumerism. Technology does not create the situation; it merely shuts the window of communicative possibility, through which passed a nagging draft of humane remembrance.

oh no

2006-05-21T21:52:00.000-04:00

You guys. I just had a startling discovery, somewhat disturbing in fact. As I stumbled into Higgins' empty home, having expected a party to be progress, I popped in the nearest VHS in the area to kill time. REALITY BITES, the crowning achievement of Generation X cinema, has altered my perspective on things. See, the first dozen times that I have seen this film, I dug it. The people were all sort of hip and alternative 90s chic. But now, at 23 it's like, I actually AM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE. OH MY GOD. The ennui, the lack of direction. The familial estrangement. It's all there. Anyway, everyone just arrived to Higgins' house. I will continue this entry later, in Part II...

Iraq

2006-05-19T02:56:00.001-04:00

This is the single most dire report from Iraq I've yet seen:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/19/world/middleeast/19migration.html?hp&ex=1148097600&en=27cafcfc5a99f506&ei=5094&partner=homepage

Not much chance of establishing civil society without a middle class. The magnitude of the shit-storm we've created is vertigo-inducing.

"Blood of man once spilled / Once at his feet shed forth,
and darkening the plain / Nor chant nor charm can call it back again."
(Aeschylus, "Agamemnon")

Christian Exodus

2006-05-14T18:00:00.000-04:00

Have you heard of Christian Exodus? It's a call to move hordes of Evangelicals to South Carolina in order to establish a theocracy there. It sounds outlandish, but these people aren't just talk. The idea is to overrun the state's population with like-minded Christians, rewrite the laws in accordance with their interpretation of the constitution, and, if necessary, secede from the U.S.A. Perhaps it's an ideal solution for both sides.

The FAQs are especially entertaining.

http://christianexodus.org/

2006-05-07T05:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday i decided to take myself out for an athletically challenging skate around the central park loop, a six mile trail of hills and dips circumscribing central park. I made it about 2.5 miles before collapsing onto a bench for a good long while. while sitting and heaving, recognizing that my mind and body were in something of a novel and unfamiliar state to me, i took to trying to make casual observations about my mental state much as i would if i had taken drugs and wished to flesh out the full effects of the experience. Here are my observations :

1. the phenomenal relationship of my body to my mind seemed altered, by what i believed to be the decreased blood flow to my brain and increased flow to other body parts. As a result, i seemed to be more embodied/in the world, and my mind deferred to body on basic interacting with the world tasks. Much like being high, i spent my resting time reflexively questioning the location of my intentions and whether it was true, false, or nonsensical to say that my body was resisting the orders of my head.
2. i lost control over my 'not looking like an idiot' instincts: i ended up skating such that i was flailing, and half singing/half panting along to various songs on my ipod.
3. my ability to focus was dramatically limited to simple tasks like moving extremities.
4. my euphoria, and the effects of the other reported alterations, were enhanced or diminished contingent on the rhythm of my musical selections.

Tri-colored for true greatness, indeed

2006-04-26T16:49:00.000-04:00

Follow the link to the video. Suffer through the requisite talk-show banter to reach the glorious annunciation.

New College has arrived.

http://www.ncf.edu/pa/video/index.html

(Sorry if you've already seen this. Which you probably have.

It was new to me, damn it!)

flying wing

2006-04-24T15:06:00.000-04:00

According to http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/systems/b-49.htm, The B-49 was conceptually innovative, but structurally unsound. Capt. Glen W. Edwards was not favorably impressed. And the cockpit layout was horrible. That pretty much stymied any desire to download your song, but the article goes on to concede that perhaps it was just a generation ahead of its time...

sobriquet

2006-04-24T13:51:00.000-04:00

sobriquet

Armand Van Heldon’s “Into Your Eyes” does for modern club music what the B-49 Flying Wing Bomber did for supersonic air travel. Twenty years ago, engineers found that driving force of an aircraft, the wing, could actually become the aircraft itself. In 2005, electronic musicians discovered an analogous mode in music—the chorus of “Into Your Eyes” IS the song, and delivers all the force of sonic booming jet fighter. Check it out, mates.

For stefanie

2006-04-23T22:57:00.000-04:00

According to Wikipedia:

Excretion is the "process of eliminating from an organism waste products of metabolism and other materials that are of no use...In mammals, for example, the two major excretory processes are the formation of urine in the kidneys and the formation of carbon dioxide (a human's most abundant metabolic waste) molecules as a result of respiration, which is then exhaled from the lungs.
Whereas Egestion, or defecation, " is the act or process by which organisms eliminate solid or semisolid waste material from the digestive tract".

A Message of Hope

2006-04-23T19:37:00.000-04:00

No, it's not a new video by Yatta, but rather an invigorating portrayal of congressional Democrats' unsung feats-- and their electoral aspirations.

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2006/0605.sullivan1.html

Are you convinced?

2006-04-23T18:28:00.000-04:00

What if earth can clothe and feed
Amplest millions in their need,
And power in thought be as the tree within the seed?

(Shelley, “Ode to Liberty”)

Tilting at windmills

2006-04-21T11:45:00.000-04:00

my plans for a more academic posting have been waylaid by a recent development in everyone's favorite thorn in the side: U.S. Drug Policy.
Thank you, New York Times, for souring my breakfast. So the FDA has decreed that Marijuana has no medical benefits, despite a NIH Institute of Medicine report demonstrating otherwise. While this is surely indicative of the Bush Administration pattern of using fact governed regulatory agencies to deliver partisan dogma (The AP notes that Rep. Mark Souder, R-Ind. most likely asked the FDA to make the statement) the FDA certainly makes full use of the opportunity to display institutional territorialism, spending two full paragraphs in the release affirming itself the sole Federal agency responsible for drug approval. Ironically, on the same day that the FDA publicly affirms marijuana has no medical benefit, HHS, the parent department to the FDA, delayed responding to a petition regarding its medical marijuana position filed under the Data Qualitity Act for the 6th time. the Data Quality Act requires that all regulatory decisions be justifed with sound scientific evidence. Essentially, HHS is stalling because if it affirms the FDA position that marijuana has no medical use, it can be challenged in court to provide evidence it doesn't have. The icing on the cake: Here is the DEA's interpretation of the NIH study. Note: despite the FDA and DEA repeated citing of the existence of more effective drugs being on the market to treat the symptoms that marijuana ostensibly can't treat at all, the FDA approval process in no way requires that a drug be more effective than other drugs already approved, only that it be more effective than a placebo. I especially enjoy the parts where they tell you marijuana is harmful becuase it contains the same chemicals as tobacco.

I've had it!!

2006-04-20T15:04:00.000-04:00

I know, this is all over the internet, but it's been cracking me up lately. I figure, someone out there may be experiencing this for the first time, whom for which I am honored to usher in a slice of the Soa(mf)P pie.

Snakesonablog.com

today i had some ginger ale

2006-04-20T14:22:00.000-04:00

I’ve seen two great movies this past week, which is unfortunate because that means I’ve not been studying federal income taxation. These movies are: Le Samourai by Jean-Pierre Melville and Bitter Moon by Roman Polanski. The commentary following Le Samourai said Melville was the father of french new-wave cinema. I’m not sure what new-wave cinema is exactly, but I guess this is it. Its about a solitary french assassin who lives like a samurai, speaking rarely and showing no emotion as he traverses Paris and knocks people off. Every shot was so precisely composed I nearly wet myself with glee. It was like a tiny little bento box of carefully arranged tiny foods. A cinematic bento box. Also, it was stylish. Le Samourai’s girlfriend’s bed headboard was a curling network of gold tubing. And the Paris Metro train was painted in alternating shades of pastel blue and cream, and shone like you could eat off it. And every car was small and sporty. Everything was so nice in the 60s. What happened?

The Polanski movie I saw last night was bizarre and perverse but also hilariously funny, made even more so by the half bottle of wine I had consumed. On a cruise we meet a degraded, depraved husband and wife set. The man is in a wheelchair, snarling and vulgar and perverted and crippled. His wife is beautiful and foreign and nasty herself. Their own obsession with each other had ruined them – when they met, they were bursting with passion and sexual fury, but it all deteriorated into her brutal humiliation, until she regained her life, came back, paralyzed him, and now tortures him. What makes the sado-masochism so disturbing is that when they first encounter each other and fall in love they’re quite normal. He’s selfish, for sure, and she’s young and naive, but all it took was some boredom and sex games (i loved the one where he wears a pig mask and scurries around naked on all fours) for complete, depraved cruelty to rule their lives. And what, for me. makes this deterioration so believable is the fact that lately, I can’t stop think about how our lives are fueled by the themes of dominance and submission. Every relationship swings, subtlely, unconsciously, in gestures and small triumphs. Whats horrifying is the thought that it be made overt, and magnified, and lived for. But its there. Its master-slave. It always comes back to the dialectic!

also, i'd like to add that i went to class drunk this morning due to that half bottle of wine. it was our last trusts and estates class and our feisty, 70-year old female professor got all teary-eyed in her closing remarks. it was nice but i have the feeling she does that for every class.

Quails, Quails, Quails

2006-04-20T12:49:00.000-04:00

Everybody loves looking at these plump, cheery, and gallinaceous game birds. Even more than that, we all love to take aim with our rifles and shoot them out of the clear blue sky.

However, the real quail enthusiast knows more than just how to cock a gun and introduce a merry quail to its maker. She has thorough knowledge of the winged beast, such its types, behaviors, and ideal breeding conditions. So that you do not make a crucial mistake in the field, what follows will provide you with all you need to know to bring a dead, delicious quail safely to your dinner table. YUM!

Varieties of quail abound in the U.S.A., including the coturnix quail, the bobwhite quail, the pharaoh quail, the button quail, the scaled quail, and the Gambel quail (a cocky little handful of brown feathers). Not technically a quail, it is common to lump in one of the most popular members of the game bird family: the partridge.

These quail are raised for several different reasons, but most often as prey for outdoor sporting clubs frequented by only the most serious hunters. In addition, the carcasses can be found at the tables of many fine restaurants where the tender meat is considered a delicacy. I will tell you, quail poultry is quite simply delicious. Additionally, pickled quail eggs are becoming popular in multiple regions throughout the nation and were recently heralded by former American Iron Chef Nerms as “far and away, this season’s premier egg.”

While these birds live for the thrill of a good chase and the final sensation of a cold lead pellet, quail also have a dark side when provoked. Overcrowding, lack of feed and water space, lack of heat or too much heat, and other natural pressures can cause the quail to turn cannibal, much like humans. To prevent this calamity, one must raise them properly and always remember that mastering the art of incubation and brooding is just the beginning of the game birds experience. Once the quail have hatched, make sure to debeak the quail before it enters an adult pen and place the quail in its optimal living environment. It really helps to construct places in the pen for quail to hide or flee from attack by their quail aggressors. Removing injured and dead quail from the pen also decreases the chances of triggering cannibalism—again, much like in human pens.

A rigorous exercise regimen is also crucial to creating a quail fit for hunting sport. They especially prefer a good morning jog, perhaps a bit of strength training in the afternoon. Whatever it takes to get the blood flowing. A few Asian breeders have experimented with yoga exercises, though the results are not conclusory. Also, some species are quite particular about training equipment, so be sure not skimp on modern apparatus and the right nutriments. The run-of-the-mill bird seed will simply not do. Finally, take care that your quail get plenty of stretching in before the more rigorous training. There is no sound more terrifying than when a healthy quail screams as it pulls a hammy.

Now, it is obvious what you are thinking after having absorbed the information above, and the answer is, yes, a Ringneck hen quail can in fact molt and take on the colors of a male. But do not fear if this happens to a quail in your hatchery; this is just one of the many instances of quail transsexuality. On the authority of many a hunter, this rare purple plumed quail makes for a most satisfying kill. Not that such a fluke is even necessary. Just follow the steps above and you are sure to have a fruitful hunting season featuring a rigorous batch of robust birds just aching to be blown into bits. Good Hunting!

and for her first post....

2006-04-18T18:28:00.000-04:00

5 bucks to the first person who figures out what city this is in. This is just the kind of Hijinx/temporary art/civic engagement shit we need. We could TOTALLY remake this. Who's with me. Who I say!